Domestic and family violence often occurs as a pattern of violent, abusive or bullying behaviour towards a partner, former partner or family member to scare and control them. Domestic and family violence can happen to anyone, regardless of your gender, age, sexual orientation, culture, religion, education or occupation. Â
What can domestic and family violence look like?Â
Domestic and family violence can materialise in many, often subtle ways, including:Â Â
- Physical abuseÂ
-
- Punching, hitting or kickingÂ
- Strangulation and suffocationÂ
- Throwing objects at you or in your directionÂ
- Sexual assaultÂ
- Emotional abuseÂ
-
- Puts you down Â
- Calls you namesÂ
- Makes you think you are crazyÂ
- Makes you feel guilty or bad about yourselfÂ
- Using isolationÂ
-
- Controls what you do or where you goÂ
- Controls who you see and talk to, and for how longÂ
- Uses excuses to justify their actions, including ‘I’m protecting you’ or ‘I’m only doing it because I’m jealous’Â
- Minimising their behaviourÂ
-
- Does not take your concerns seriously Â
- Blames you for the abuse Â
- Blames tiredness, stress, work, alcohol or drugsÂ
- Denies actions ever occurredÂ
- Using childrenÂ
-
- Makes you feel guilty about the children, including calling you a ‘bad parent’Â
- Uses the children against you or to relay messagesÂ
- Threatens to take the children awayÂ
- Financial abuseÂ
-
- Prevents you from getting a job or forces you to quitÂ
- Forces you to give them your wage or earningsÂ
- Does not allow you access to cash or bank accountsÂ
- Gives you an allowanceÂ
- Using male privilegeÂ
-
- Treats you like their servantÂ
- Makes decisions that concern you without your inputÂ
- Limits your role to within the householdÂ
- Coercive and controlling behaviourÂ
-
- Threatens to hurt you, hurt themselves or share intimate images if you take certain actionsÂ
- Makes you do illegal actions, such as buy drugsÂ
- Makes you take out debt in your name or sign things you don’t understandÂ
- Withholds medication or money Â
- Monitors you via GPSÂ Â
- Goes through your phone, social media, emails, banks accounts or internet historyÂ
- Using intimidation or harassment Â
-
- Destroys or breaks propertyÂ
- Abuses pets or childrenÂ
- Makes you aware they have weapons in the houseÂ
- Makes you afraid by using looks, actions or gesturesÂ
- Follows you or turns up at your workplaceÂ
- Constant calls or texts Â
A combination of these tactics is often used by an abusive partner to gain power and control over their victim. You don’t need to experience all of these types of abuse for it to be domestic and family violenceÂ
What should I do if I know or if I think I am experiencing domestic and family violence? Â
You should:Â
- Call 000 if you are in immediate danger.Â
- Tell someone like a close friend, doctor or support worker.Â
- Seek counselling options from a doctor or support worker.Â
- Document the violence in a notebook and by taking photos.Â
- Keep any police reports or records of your attendance at a doctor or hospital.Â
- Contact Marrickville Legal Centre’s Domestic Violence Support Service to make an appointment with our DV Support Worker.Â
Contact
 Do you need to talk to someone? We can help. Submit an enquiry online or call Marrickville Legal Centre on 02 9559 2899.